Depression

can’t find myself
I get lost inside my brain
I think I might need help
But I pushed all of them way
I took cards they dealt
And there’s nothing I can change
So when I’m by myself
I just pray for brighter days

Sometimes I sit and I reminisce
bout the good times
wish I could get those back
I keep on running these races
that go in my mind
then they go on these tracks
I’m not ready to erase all my memories
I fight depression
and I let it get the best of me
now there’s nowhere to run, nowhere to go
look around its liquor bottles all on the floor
filling up the space
inside my heart and my home
drowning out these thoughts
until they leave me alone

I can’t find myself
I get lost inside my brain
I think I might need help
But I pushed all of them way
I Took cards they dealt
And there’s nothing I can change
So when I’m by myself
I just pray for brighter days

[Verse 2]
These thoughts are draining all my energy
I try to tell em to God
they say i’m going insane
And then they recommended therapy
and to go and talk to a man
who’s getting paid to explain
He started saying
That the chemical imbalance is the reason that my brain ain’t connecting to accomplishments associated with moving on in life and past the things that my heart cannot contain
So the happiness won’t sustain
Then he read me my options
he said here goes a pill
only take two with A meal
and It’ll numb how I feel

I can’t find myself
I get lost inside my brain
I think I might need help
But I pushed all of them way
I Took cards they dealt
And there’s nothing I can change
So when I’m by myself
I just pray for brighter days

Should I drown all these thoughts or should I leave them to float?
I got all of my flaws living inside of this boat
I’ve been anchored in pain
the weight is making me choke
It’s getting harder to breathe
it’s pulling right at my throat
I’ve been hoping for change but don’t know how to restart
they say you ain’t a man when you exposing your heart
Then they say you’re insane until it tears you apart
And then it cuts you so deep and they can tell by the scars
We can only see change when we accept who we are
Try to run from the shame and you will never get far
Don’t you bottle the pain
or live your life in the dark
You’re meant break from those chains
and shine as bright as a star
Don’t you ever tell yourself
that your depression
is the reason you won’t make it
or that happiness is not in your cards
with our God
you can beat all the odds
keep your faith and you’ll never get lost and say

I can’t find myself
I get lost inside my brain
I think I might need help
But I pushed all of them way
I Took cards they dealt
And there’s nothing I can change
So when I’m by myself
I just pray for brighter days