The Remorse

yuh, yuh

look, me and little sandra bagging cd’s in a bubble wrap
people recognise me from the tv, but i’m done with that
people don’t wanna see me succeed, this sh+t come with that
even when i comeback, i don’t know if it’s gonna be me that’s
coming back, soon as i left i had to make peace with that
dropped out of school ’cause n0body was teaching that
the best western’s where a n+gga was sleeping at
daemen college booking me to pull up to speak the facts
even if they make a movie ’bout us
this sh+t will be hard to re+enact
this okay to show that it’s hard to be always reaching back
all these iou’s, it’s hard for me to be keeping track
friends that dedicated they life to just keepin’ me intact
hard to pay 40, pay noel, pay niko back
all the nights i needed to vent to someone and cj sat
all the nights chubbs was pulling up, where i need him at
all the times mark was making sure that my luggage packed
at times he had to double back
i mean, even with his salary, you can’t put no prices on that
there is no salary cap, there is no payin’ him back
for real, i wonder what he coulda been if i had snakes in the mix
actually, i never wanna know ’cause we made it like this
shots gotta fly either way, now i make it or miss
overtime, i was all good, we take it in shifts
what would you do if it wasn’t this? that’s a hard one
the finish line is where i like to pull up and start from
pain is just a place that i go to get the bars from
anxiety’s a drug that i use to get the job done
delusional’s a sp+ce i like to think that i’m far from
my son is the one thing i hate to be apart from
bet against me, i don’t know where they getting their odds from
i know that when it’s done, i’m going where ever god’s from
but i still don’t know where i get the calm from
(where i get the calm from), yeah, yuh

look, gotta hold my head high with two dry eyes
i told you everything is fine dog, but i lied
i be tryna draw the line, but it’s a fine line
and i’m drownin’ out the noise from the sideline
sometimes it’s louder than the voice i got in my mind
i can’t even hear myself when i get quiet time
like, how they tellin’ me i’m done, when i’m in my prime?
they’ve been tryna push a narrative since ’09
and they even had my ass convinced a couple times
but that ain’t even the half, i had tougher times
only look for sympathy inside my mothers eyes
and it’s whatever with them n+ggas on the other side
we got problems we could never really put aside
i cracked the door, ‘fore i saw her put my food inside
i tried to k!ll them boys with kindness, but they wouldn’t die
so now i k!ll ’em all for acting like they couldn’t die
my hard work doesn’t just pay off, it pays all the family debts off
i’m taking heads off, future out here like irving azoff
houses paid off, label paid off
my soul for the money wasn’t the trade+off
unlike most of you boys that fade off
i feel guilty taking some days off
please don’t google my net worth, the numbers are way off
i mean if you comparin’ it to what i really made off with
i’m more like bernie with all the earnest that they came off
trust me it was nothin’ light, holmes
they tried to give me a slice of the pie, and i took the knife home
i know you love me
can’t picture bein’ a hubby, finger to stubby to fit a ring on
unless kawhi wanna run it back
other than that, the strings’ll be unattached
certified lover boy, i’m not the one for cuddling and none of that